AuriliteMoxy

Project 001 goes well. Assets are being rendered accordingly. Update pending.

So Ive been gone quite awhile and thought I should update this since Im back now.



I admire it.  I want to become it.  It consumes my thoughts and emotions like a blackhole in space.  It eludes me.  it eludes me...
Yeah so after all that I finally get to the point of what I'm talking about.  To tell you the truth it is not that easy for me to put into words, since this... whatever this is... seems so very far away, yet not out of reach.  It plays this game with my head over and over daily.  It speaks through my friends at times as well.  
For example, my friend Racheal was talking to me about something she had seen during her stay in the Bahamas, when suddenly her words dissipated on contact with whatever it was that was speaking to me.  A barrier against my friend, and it almost felt as if sounds (if I can call it that?) were beginning to form into words into my head...  then everything blanked and she was running her mouth about me never listening to her.

If I could spend a day with this... whatever maybe then I could get the answers I need.  Until then I'm content with the games it plays with my head and I'm tuned in fully for whatever.

It started out simple enough.  I got my friend to drop me off (since my car is still in the shop for repairs) and went to the mall where she dropped me off.  There were tons of people there tonite and it made finding the meeting place all the more difficult for me.  Finally I managed to find the meeting location, and for the first time got a glimpse of who my friend had recommended for me.  
She had brown hair, kind of blonde mixed, she wasn't fat and she wasn't a waif either but appeared to be normal (whatever normal means) build.  However, what was really noticeable about her was her eyewear, she wore glasses, I mean.  So that was kind of interesting.  She said her name was Deena or Dana or something, I can't remember or pronounce it if I wished to.  Well anyway, we got to talking and stuff and I found out she likes things I like, but I still felt so distant at the moment from this person.  It was the strangest feeling.  Like she was like a million miles away from me and I was floating in space.  Is this what they call an out of body experience?  
So we went to the food court and ordered our food from my fave pizza joint Sbarros.  It was delicious as usual, and we talked about a range of things from education to politics, still there was an emptiness inside that I could not explain.  Why did I feel this way?  Why did the fact that we liked the same things not pique my curiousity about this person?  I was completely beside myself at the moment.  
So it went on like this for about half an hour until she said she had to go, handed me a piece of paper with her cell phone number on it and left me wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into.  I'm still debating on whether or not to call her since I've really no need for a serious relationship now.  Who knows?  I might give her a call eventually.

As usual I'll keep you posted

Yeah I know, I haven't been able to update my DA journal regularly.  You can blame that on my profs turned taskmasters.  Man, the courses are brutal this year.

Winter is not over yet.  I feel it in the air and in the way the girls and boys are bundled up tight in their sweaters and coats.  It's a wonderful feeling actually, knowing that winter is not over yet, seeing the pathetic grimaces and shivering of these fools makes me laugh out loud.  The fools.  Here I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt as the temp drops below 30 F and I have no complaints.
Wusses.  
So much has happened since the last time I have wrote in this. There is a strange profundity to it all.  I have much to tell in the coming days.  Until then may your shoulder be ever icy, and your heart frozen solid.

As I am writing this it is currently about 62 F outside.  I cannot believe this weather here.  Here it is in January and people are wearing short sleeves and shorts!  This is depressing.  All I want is snow and ice, is that so much to ask?  Sheesh.
Anyway, after my little breakup with whatever her name was, I feel like all of the threads that make up my life are slowly unraveling.  I'm coming undone.  Though much has changed as a result of that as well.  
First of all, I am becoming more aware of how humanity shuns people for how different they are.  Which is not really news since this has been going on forever I think.  Sometimes it occurs to me that the people who are being critical are no better off than the ones they are criticizing.  I find this very contradictory.

In other news, Christmas was actually halfway decent this year.  I got the chance to meet my family and relatives which wasn't such a bad thing since some of them are hilarious.  Especially my cousin BJ who I really think understands me more than anybody else in my family.  Overall, it was a nice little holiday and I kind of (I cannot believe I am about to say this) but regret leaving.  
On a sidenote I still think they put something in that egg nog on Christmas eve.  Everyone was unusually talkative and very vibrant that night which indicated possibly that the eggnog was spiked.
Oh well.  New years eve was fun.  Went to a frat party and made a complete fool of ourselves.  But doesn't everybody on New years eve?    Though by the time the ball dropped everybody was passed out.  Haha.  That was fun.

Anyway I better return back to reading up on the text for next semester.  Hmm, I wonder what classes I have.  Oh well, guess I'll find out next week.

Later.